- DARA's POV -
Alright, I've had enough of this. I know he has really bad mood swings and can never live up to his desires, but what the hell? I feel just slightly pissed off at the fact that he's been acting like a total dick for no reason. At least, one that I wasn't aware of. Just when I was going through the process of making up with Chaerin, his defiant-ness really isn't helping the fact that I've been like hell each day. Just a day ago we were fine, you really have some problems.
On top of that, appearing in my thoughts so much. Just what makes it so that your sticking to my mind so much!?
One day. Or not even a day, I couldn't live a day without thinking about him. I don't know if its out of anger or whatsoever, but it was very hard.
I paused at the doorway, grabbing the black trench coat hanging on the coat hanger beside me. I slipped it through my arms in a rushing demeanor and put my feet through the nearest shoes I could find. It hasn't came across to me that this sudden adrenaline rush was very rude towards the others. Turning my back around for a split second, I glanced at Rinnie who was watching me with sharp and curious eyes from the far table in the kitchen. I gulped and gave her a look of knowing, then rushed out the door into the pouring rain.
My feet broke into a jog, moving to the right side of the corner and down the sidewalk.
Just this once. Just this once, will I do what I want to do. It wasn't fair leaving me hanging forever- not knowing on why the person who's treating me like a total outcast is doing so, especially when I decided to forget him myself. All the headaches...all my thoughts...the sudden stabs in my heart when looking at the messily written "FIGHTING" on the crane..it occurred to me that either way, I was betraying orders. Including my own.
Orders. Is that what I took them as? Not what I wanted to do for myself, but for whatever demand or favour went into my alter ego first?
In a few minutes, I had reached YG's studio. Ignoring the sudden backing out of my heart, I forced my feet to step closer and enter the building. I can't make it seem like I was all talk. After riding myself up the elevator and down the newly-made hallways, I immediately ran up to BigBang's practice room and busted myself in. No knock, no pause, no nothing.
I flinched at the blast of music that entered my ears, but I ignored it. As I tumbled to the centre of the room, I felt myself gaining the full attention of five boys..and now, minus one. Even though i could hear constant callings of "noona!" or, "Dara! why are you here?".....they were easily blocked out by my concentration on the lazy-looking blonde sitting by the windowsill. He gazed out, acting as if I wasn't here. I let my breathing go even for awhile before I began to speak.
"I need to talk to you." I said in a nonchalant voice. I gained no reply but a twitch of his head, and the curious expressions from the others. Seunghyun maintained his cool and reserved look. With no other reaction, I furrowed my eyebrows and clutched a fist together.
I raised my voice."I said I needed to talk to you!"
After another moment of silence, Seungri slid himself over to Jiyong and gave him a light nudge in the arm.
"Hyung? She needs to talk to you."
All the eyes traveled onto the blonde. Jiyong glanced at Seungri, who gave him an encouraging nod towards me. After eyeing the Maknae a little while longer, he clicked his tongue and lifted himself up from the lounging position. I watched him shake himself around in a carefree way, shoving his hands in his pockets.
And for what seemed like the first time in forever, his gaze fixed upon my eyes. We looked at eachother awkwardly before I began to make my way exiting the room. As I made sure he was following, I made my way down the long hallway and through a building exit door down the emergency staircase. Pausing at the end of the first flight, I swiveled myself around and planted my feet firmly on the ground. He paused with a sudden motion and continued to eye me in a curious way. I assumed he already knew why I was here.
"Why are you ignoring me?" I ask, trying to keep my voice steady and confident. At this point his gaze flew away, avoiding my eyes and turning his head into a different direction.
I bit my lip. "If you didn't want me to stay at your house, then you could of-"
"Shut up!" He shouts out, catching my attention.
This is the part where usually, I'd break down. But not this time.
"Well whatever it is, is this how you treat the person you like!?"
I could tell I blew a strong one there. His mouth slowly opened a crack at this, and his expression suddenly seemed as if he was shot in the heart. I wondered if it was alright, but decided it obviously was. Was I not allowed to fire other people when they fire me first?
"Don't be stupid." Jiyong replies in a scarce whisper. "I told you in the very beginning, your too easy to please. Stop trying, its really annoying when you keep coming on to people like that."
This made me more spontaneous than ever. Taking one deep inhale followed by a quick movement of my hand, I reached into my pocket in search of something. He looked at me impatiently and crossed his arms, clicking his tongue. When I felt what I was looking for, I slipped it out with one confident movement and held it up with two fingers in front of his face.
Jiyong's expression turned hard at the unfolded paper crane. The thick "FIGHTING" on the wrinkled up piece of paper looked as if it was very familiar to him.
"You say that, yet you wrote this to keep me from crashing. Your doing this for a reason, aren't you? You don't want me to give up just yet."
"Stop dreaming," Jiyong hissed, narrowing his eyes. "Who would make up something so complex as that? I did it out of pity."
"Why won't you admit it!" Ticked off, I raised the evidence down and shouted with a sincere look. It was rare for me to be like this, but I was doing it on my own will. I didn't believe that he was completely unaffected by this, because he looked rather guilty and hurt. "You can't tell me that after everything we've been through, the ferris wheel, Hello, the way you sav-"
"Do you really want me to stop?" He interrupted with a slightly annoyed look on his face. Yes, I did want him to stop. Despite whatever he wants, despite what people say..no one knew the feelings I had without him.
Is this what Rinnie meant? What I was holding back, the actions I took...
Because of Love. I really didn't understand my own heart. Thinking back to everything, thinking back to her words, the way she's acted, people change for love. My stupidity gave in for that. After snapping myself back to reality, my gaze returned towards the blonde with a fiery look. Giving him a short nod, he sighed.
"Make me a crane."
"What?" I whispered, my voice suddenly dying down a bit. If anything, making cranes would be something I'd never excel at. I was surprised at this request..especially at the fact that he clearly knew I didn't know how.
I averted my eyes. "You-"
"You said it was meaningless unless you make it yourself, right!?" He exclaimed, cutting myself off but catching my attention. "Well then make it!"
I wasn't going to run away anymore, I wasn't going to be a sore to the eye anymore. I did that that, it WAS meaningless unless you make it yourself, and I wasn't denying my own saying. As I took a deep breath, I crunched the piece of paper in my fist and glared up at him.
"I will. Watch me."
"She just left after Jiyong hung up."
Bom sat on the couch, holding a bowl of chips and placing them in her mouth one by one. After her friend had run out of the house, she decided to go confront their leader a little bit. Although nothing was brought up about her current condition, she could tell that it's gotten slightly better. Just slightly, to the point where she could actually eat.
"Mm.." Rinnie rested her head on the arm of the couch, her arm loose on the ground and tapping the hard wooden floor with a long finger. Its been quite awhile since Dara left the house this morning, and it was already 12 in the afternoon. Although she was aware of where she went...she seemed to be calm about it.
Bom placed another chip on her mouth and chewed it down. "Whats up with you guys lately? I know about everything thats happened, but..they're together now, aren't they? Rinnie, you should move on too."
Acting as if she was completely unharmed by this fact, Chaerin twitched.
"I'd like to."
"Then why don't you?" the unnie raised an eyebrow, placing the bowl of chips on the table and leaning over to the side where she met her friend's attention. Responding to this, Chaerin sat up with a mischievous look.
"I don't like to give up on love so easily." She says, pulling a small smile on one of the corners of her lips. "Its no fun without some competition, right?"
"And." She goes on, "Someone needs to be taught."
"Huh?" Bom stared at her with a curious look, not quite catching what her friend was talking about. Chaerin replied with a shake of a head, waving off the topic. Judging from this, it seems she's straightened herself out a little more than before. She actually knew what she was doing.
"Bommie, sorry. Watch the house will you?" Chaerin states, climbing up from her spot and grabbing a jacket near her. "I'm going out too."
Dara made do under the roof of an abandoned store outside, sitting on an old cardboard box under the pouring rain. It was a quiet place where she could think and get what she wants, done. In this case, she's prepared a pack of origami paper and her bare hands.
"I have to do this." She says to herself in a hurry to begin, rolling up her sleeves and unwrapping the package. It contained 100 pieces of coloured origami paper, and she was determined to use them all until she was able to make her first crane by herself. Picking out the very first green piece, she began to fold.
Not even a minute later, she had messed up already. Sighing, she threw the paper aside and grabbed a purple piece from the package. Confident about herself, she started over again. Unfortunately this time it wasn't very successful for her either. Cupping the sides of her cheeks with her bare, frozen hands, she gave a long sigh as she let the cold air run out of her mouth.
"Why can't I do this! Didn't Seunghyun show me last time?" Dara yells at herself, crunching up the purple piece into a ball. Without giving up she dumped all of the paper from the package in a pile next to her and grabbed a yellow one next. Still messing up fold after fold, she let out a little yelp of frustration and chucked it aside.
"Jiyong." She says, an image of the boy popping in her mind. "I'll definitely make this, don't you dare doubt me just yet." A flash of the ferris wheel zoomed its way through her thoughts, the way things were before, that specific day. She had fun..even though she was afraid of heights.
She wanted to go on it again, with him. But it wasn't going to happen, probably not until she managed to make this.
Suddenly regaining a look of determination, she began to work her hands again. She could feel them starting to tingle as a reaction to the cold air. Raindrops were present at her feet, dropping from the metal rooftops. She didn't want to put any time to waste- she had to make it. Ignoring the water running to her shoes, she started again softly this time.
But each time she tried, it never worked.
"Why!" Dara exclaimed, closing her eyes in an annoyed way and chucking the paper aside again. She buried her face in the palms of her hand, whining to herself. She'd tried many times already, but it wasn't enough to stop her from her determination. "Why can't I make it?"
- SEUNGHYUN's POV -
I wasn't sure if I should approach her, or just leave her alone. It seemed like either way, it would leave a scar on my actions. I watched her from the distance, holding an umbrella in one of my hands and my other one hanging flatly to my side. She was settled under an old abandoned store, under a metal rooftop sitting on a beat up cardboard box. And, she was folding cranes. I guessed it had something to do with Jiyong, because what else was able to make her sit there in the pouring rain folding pieces of paper?
By the way, I thought I taught her the other day, and I thought I made her a new one. I really didn't get this girl- even though she's a bother, she has a lot of stress on herself too. It didn't help just standing here, so I came up with the conclusion of approaching her. I was going to do it at some point.
As I casually brought myself in front of her, I looked down and watched as her head jerked up in surprise. She indeed looked very frustrated from the look on her face. My eyes scanned around her surroundings and saw that there were crunched up colored paper thrown everywhere around her. I felt a wave of both anger and awe at each abandoned piece.
My gaze wandered back to her with an expressionless tone. "What are you doing here?"
"Making a crane." She whispered after a long term of silence. Not long after her reply followed no sound but the pitter patter of the hard rain smashing against the metal.
"Why?" I asked, maintaining the hard look on my face.
I felt hurt at this. The way she stared at me like that. That curious, wondering, child-like face questioned me why I was even here. I didn't need anybody to tell me, I knew myself that I looked very solid and serious at the moment. But there was no way to tell her, because she wouldn't understand. Or..it just wasn't the right time yet.
I blinked. "Why are you trying so hard for him?"
This question seemed to shock her, because her expression immediately turned as if she was found out about something. I was even more scarred with this, because she found no way to reply to me. My eyes narrowed into a flinch, because although she couldn't answer herself, I already knew her conclusion.
"Didn't I warn you to not fall in love with him?" I stated, still gaining her attention from this. I looked down at her with deep, serious brown orbs. It's not that Jiyong is a bad person, he's a great leader and a good dongsaeng to me. But, falling in love with him maybe isn't such a good idea. I watched as she finally began to speak,
"Even if you say that." She says, pausing for awhile. "It can't just simply happen."
My mind started to wonder if I was doing this for my own selfish reasons. I didn't want to be unreasonable like another specific someone, but love conquers-
"I guess I've really fallen hard this time, too."
At this point, a flash of panic and anxiety raced across my heart. She seemed to notice this, but didn't take it in any other way other than a simple reaction to her sudden confession. Her face gained a melancholic expression as she picked up a new piece of colored paper. Plain white, this time.
"I figured out just now, of all times." She continued, playing around with it for awhile. "The reason why I've been like this lately."
I was afraid she'd say that. Ignoring the inner thoughts of mine, I kept my eyes glued onto her fingers that now proceeded to slowly fold the paper in half. Continuing to stand under half of the metal rooftop, I could feel part of my body wet from the rain.
"I'm sorry, Rinnie." Dara whispered. "I've been an idiot all this time. I know you love Jiyong...but just this once, I'm not going to lose either."
She spoke, as if I wasn't there at all.
"Huh?" She looked at me in a utterly confused and misunderstood way. I saw her hands still folding at the paper..and they had turned red from the cold. Her nose adopted the same kind of shade after sniffing. At this rate, she was definitely going to catch a fever.
"I said, Go home" I repeated in a more fierce tone. The worse thing that could happen at the moment was for her to suddenly fall sick. Not go ing to be a surprise, since shes been here for quite awhile.
"No!" She cried out, suddenly breaking into a sneeze.
- CHAERIN's POV -
I had rushed here, thinking that this was going to be something quite interesting to see. And of course, it was. I had just heard Dara confess her true feelings behind this large beat up cement pillar. The two of them stood almost right in front of me- but I hid myself well. It wasn't the last thing I wanted to be found out for- but I felt that I shouldn't interfere in this.
It gave me an uneasy feeling- what she said, and what I managed to hear. I knew it, I knew at some point she'd fall for him just like how I did. But I refuse to consider this as a win for her, even if Jiyong does like her back. Besides, hes tied around my finger right now, with no escape. If he didn't want to cause any more trouble to her, he'd obey me with no trouble.
Funny. Funny how I'm able to control Kwon Jiyong so easily like this.
Why did he have to do this, to protect her? I asked myself, staring past Seunghyun's shoulder straight at Dara, who was busy trying to fold the crane. The usual Jiyong we knew would never allow himself to be used, to allow himself to give in so easily. I didn't understand. It suddenly occurred to me that he didn't give in, he was just doing what he could do. It was all he can do.
I'm cruel. Why are we all so in love like this?
I decided it was me that created this Dara. I thought, still watching with an umbrella clutched in one hand and my eyes still on my housemate's busy hands. If I had just went with what I originally schemed- letting her slowly realize that Jiyong was meant to be mine, she wouldn't be here right now folding those stupid cranes. Seunghyun had told me about them, everything.
I hate her. Why am I so aware of her right now, why did I let her realize her feelings? Completely unreasonable. Either way..I wasn't going to let her have him. Taking one last long and meaningful glance, I backed away slowly and turned around to walk away.
Seems like things couldn't be done the way her slow mind wanted it to, this time.
Seems like now, it was the heart that took the lead.
After walking a few steps ahead, I heard a loud cry of Seunghyun's voice. Ignoring the seriousness of it, I slowly turned around to see what was going on. After catching a glimpse of him crouching on the ground, I realized he had Dara's head perched onto his shoulder.
Widening my mouth, I realized she was knocked out. Idiot, she had completely forgotten about her immunity when it came to cold weather and catching fevers. Standing there for awhile thinking of what to do, I watched Seunghyun shake her unconscious body for awhile in worry, calling her name but received no response.
Narrowing my eyes, I clutched my fist and bit my lip, letting my reflexes take over as I ran my way over to her.
The coffee haired girl woke up the next day, her head in a blur. Opening her eyes up in a drowsy way, she decided to let them catch on some rest for awhile as she slowly began to sit herself up. Halfway through the process, she realized her throat felt very sore and her mind was lightheaded.
"Dara noona, don't get up!"
Opening one of her eyes to take a glance at the voice beside her, she let her vision focus at a short bob haired girl sitting beside her on a wooden stool. She came to process it as the maknae of the group. Minzy placed a hand over the unnie's forehead, causing her to flinch back.
"Aie! Your fever is still acting." She complained, her hand moving to the side of her friend's cheek. Dara stared at her in a confused way, receiving one back. Her eyes suddenly widened in realization as she threw the covers off of her legs and attempted to climb out.
"Dara!" Minzy grabbed for her shoulders, trying to push her back down. "You can't get up! You must rest!"
"Crane" Dara said in a somewhat semi-croaky voice, resisting the maknae's grip. "Where are the origami papers?"
"They're right on your desk" The young one let go of one shoulder and pointed to the other side of the room, letting her unnie's eyes slowly follow her indication. Dara's view traveled towards her familiar cream white workplace where a small thin stack of colored papers rested on the top in a plastic bag. Her expression suddenly came to a relief at this, knowing that they hadn't gotten wet.
"Rinnie brought you in after finding you out in the rain." Minzy said. Her head jolted back at the surprised reaction of her friend, who was now staring at her as if not believing it.
"Chaerin?" Dara whispered to her, receiving a slow and steady nod plus the releasage of her shoulders.
"Yea...You can thank her later." Minzy stated, knowing her unnie, she probably wanted to go give her a thanks after their torn relationship. Although it didn't seem like it, Dara was very happy at the fact that Chaerin helped her out. After her attitude lately, it was indeed unexpected of her to do so.
"Eat" Minzy interrupted, her head jerking towards the food tray present beside the bedside. Dara glanced over and saw it was her favorite food, a simple egg sandwich with milk tea on the side. On top of that, some medicine was settled on a napkin beside some water.
"I don't have time to eat." Dara thought, but pulling a smile at the maknae. "Yes, okay."
"Good..I'm going to go out and buy things, okay? Stay home!" She ordered, getting up from her sitting position and giving her unnie a finger. Dara replied with a sweet smile and waved her off as she exited through the doorway. Her smile suddenly faded as she climbed out of her bed, staggering her asleep feet towards her desk.
Approaching it, she grabbed the plastic bag and slid out the pieces of paper, making herself comfortable in her rolly chair.
Staring at the previously used white paper, she folded it in half.